I admit -- I feel bitter every time I see a former colleague, classmate, or friend travel to different places, excel in their career, or live the life that I've always wanted. I know that at some point, I can still make a difference about myself even after giving birth, but that means that I have to leave my child at home.
A couple of years ago, I told myself that I will leave my little one when he's about six months, go back to Dubai and find a job that would make me successful. But I can't. I cannot even leave home without thinking about him. So, I decided to stay at home, find an online job, and hope that I can thrive one day.
Then I ventured the so-called "Home-based job for moms" and found myself writing for private companies and online news outlets. It's satisfying because I always wanted to write and see my works published online. However, it's not always a walk in the park as some companies are not paying on time, while others don't pay at all. Worst, I cannot chase them because they are there, a million miles away from me.
But life goes on... And I chose to reject a handful of job offers, become a stay-at-home mom, and prayed hard to avoid failure.
I know this decision is difficult but it's something that I will never regret. So to all stay-at-home moms, I am proud of you! And for those moms who chose to work outside and sacrifice their comfort and convenience for the sake of their children, you are amazing!
After all, we are all moms and whatever path we chose, we know that it's for our child/children.
Nevertheless, if you opt to stay with your kids and started to build your own empire, here are some ways on how you can become a successful stay-at-home mom:
1. Set Your Own Schedule
Honestly, I've tried creating my own schedule but some lame excuses of mine made me become a failure. However, there are times when I am able to follow my sched and I tell you, it's amazing! It's a lot less stressful knowing that you're getting productive.
To do this, you can get a notebook and write activities for a specific time (e.g., 9 AM - 9:30 AM Play with baby, 9:30 AM -9:40 AM Bath, etc). Unknown to many, kids love consistency and setting a schedule will benefit not only the kids but you as well.
2. Talk To Other People Who Can Relate To What You're Undergoing
Do not isolate yourself and instead, talk to someone who is feeling and doing the same thing. Exchange tips and stories and be sure to have a good laugh. After all, no one can closely understand what you're going through except the person who's been in your shoes.
To do this, feel free to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. By doing so, you're saving yourself and your sanity which is important so that you can function properly as a mom. Find a support network that will help you with your concerns, especially if you're a first-time mom.
3. Work On Being A Great Mom, Not A Perfect One
Once in a while, accept that you're only human. You may strive to be the best by providing healthy food, keeping your child disciplined and clean at all times, and ensuring that they will receive the right attention. However, if fries and watching TV will make it less stressful for you, then let them have it. Do not tell yourself that you're a bad mom especially if you know that they are healthy and they receive adequate care and attention.
To do this, do not force yourself and your child to do the right thing. As long as you know that you meant no harm, then do so. Eat ice cream and enjoy a day playing with them. Getting obsessed with being a perfect mom may only end up on wasted time. Remember -- chasing them and changing their nappies won't last long. Eventually, they will grow old and the next thing you know, they're old enough to do things on their own.
4. Hire A Co-Worker
While in-laws, especially MILs can come into rescue, sometimes, this is not the best option. We all have stories to tell and I just don't wanna go in there. Nevertheless, it's safe to hire a co-worker, a.k.a. nanny to help you do the dishes, sweep the floor, wash the bottles, make meals, and the list goes on.
To do this, you can either ask for referrals from your friend and family or go online. A helping hand is always beneficial for SAHM, just be sure to hire the one you can trust.
5. Socialize!
Take a day off and reunite with other people, a.k.a. your friends. This way, you will not burn yourself out and motivate yourself to become better instead. It's like refueling your inner person and avoid doing the same thing over and over again. It's not something to be guilty of -- after all, you're still a human and sometimes, you need to feel a sense of belongingness.
To do this, set a spa-date with your friends, meet your former colleague in a wine house, participate in a charity, or date your significant other. This will stimulate your mind and body while giving yourself a higher level of self-esteem.
6. Treat Yourself
Being a SAHM is not easy; it's a task that has no day-off, time-out, break, pause, etc. Therefore, it's just right to take yourself out and give a treat you deserve. It's like getting your 'compensation' for a job well done.
To do this, you may set up your 'me-time' or you may finally purchase that bag that you're eyeing on for two weeks. Whatever it is, be sure to make it fun and exciting. You are the best mom in the world that your kids could have and it's only right that you get the reward you deserve.
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