Don't Rush, Take Your Time: An Open Letter To The Younger Generation

Lately, I’ve been clouded with thoughts about traveling, being free, and living a life somewhere else — somewhere really far away from here. It’s not that I’m fed up with where I am living now; it’s just that, I knew that’s what I wanted in the first place.

I can’t completely recall the first time I wanted to live abroad. I’ve always thought about the fresh air, safe city, and a more independent life. Come 2014, the first time I stepped into a foreign soil — the United Arab Emirates. It was frightening and exciting at the same time. Alas! Dream come true. Not only will I be able to breathe into a new culture and see a whole lot of new places, I am finally living my life alone.

I don’t know about you but for me, it’s pretty challenging. And these challenges were you wake up alone. Cook for yourself. Laundry own clothes. And do a bunch of things you’re not doing while your in your own home, with your parents. Things like these push me to grow stronger and wiser. I feel like a bird — freedom finally! 

I did cry — like other normal people separated from their country and the ones they love. The time I heard the plane finally moving, it’s wheel screeching away from the ground, I tapped myself and asked: “Do I really want this to happen?” 

Nights were full of tears but it wasn’t long until I found myself enjoying and living the dream.

Meeting new people. Speaking a foreign language most of the time. Missing Filipino foods. Cursing irate customers. Partially longing for loved ones. But. Finally. Getting. To. Know. Myself. A. Little. More. 

There is a plethora of stories to tell but sadly, I have to go back to the Philippines. I became pregnant and at first, I thought my life is over.

Come October 2016, I met the most wonderful human being. It was the first time I saw him but I knew — I love him and would love him with all my heart.

My son is out. Beautiful. Challenging? C’mon! Being a parent for the first time is more than challenging, it’s life-changing.

I know that I won’t to fully do what I want. I don’t regret anything. Besides, I know that I have lived my life to the fullest -- or should I say, FOOLEST. I know he’s the best thing that ever happened. But I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite. I know, in my heart, I wanted to do a lot of things.

I am a reckless person, living life like there’s no tomorrow. I barely think about what I really wanted in my life before but this child? He made me realize that I should do more. He made me realize what I really wanted to do with life. He helped me see things — like how life is worth living.

It was both satisfying and depressing at the same time. There are times when I feel like losing it. Social media contributed a lot to whatever this thing is called? Anxiety? Depression? I’m not really sure. All I know is that I have sleepless nights. Palpitations. And a lot of dark thoughts about dying. I became insecure about myself. Feeling worthless. Knowing that I am no longer capable of doing what I’m good at — just being myself. I can no longer be impulsive. I can no longer go on with what I believe: “What Carol wants, Carol gets.” And the most dreaded part — I have to consider other people.

That’s one reason why I wanted to be alone before. I somehow, well, hate taking other people’s thoughts. I hate restrictions. I hate limitations. Like a bird — I fly and just follow wherever my heart would take me. But this time, I can’t.

It wasn't the baby. It wasn’t the other person controlling me because he barely controls me at all. But there are a few things that I need to consider. I cannot just go on, take my baby with me, and stop caring about the world. Things have changed and I know that it will never be the same again.

So as a young mom — and by young I mean still having too many dreams to conquer — I’d like to impart a few things. 

• Find Out What You Want To Do No Matter How Young You Are

Surely, you want to go clubbing or become reckless like what young people normally do. Or you’re the other way around. Doesn’t matter. Whatever you are, get that damn notebook, and write down the things you want to do. Travel? Get a tattoo? Move to another country? Even if it’s just a random thought, write it down. There’s a reason why you have thought about it in the first place.

• Don’t Let Fear Eat Your Dreams 

What if I fail? What if they don’t want to see me doing this? What if? What if? And a thousand more what ifs? If you let that fear eat you out, it won’t be long until you realize that you have no more time do the things you wanted before. Trust your inner self and do whatever the fuck it is that’s haunting you.

• Chill And Don’t Rush Things To Happen 

18 and wanting to fall in love? C’mon! If someone came to your path, it’s alright. It’s not like love is always there to knock at your place. But if you’re single, take the time — you’re fucking free time — to find yourself. Enroll yourself to a dance class. Hike. Or simply, give yourself the extra love it deserves. God’s plan is always a hundred, a thousand, a gazillion times more beautiful than yours.

• Do It Now 

Okay, this may sound like a contrary to what I stated above but damn, IF NOT NOW, WHEN? Planning to travel? Book a damn ticket! Want to learn how to cook? Ransack your kitchen! Dreaming about writing that book? Start it now! *okay I’m guilty of this * Don’t worry about anything else. Sure, we’re no rich and famous and money, well, it doesn’t just grow in trees. But you can still earn it but once time is wasted, there’s no turning back.

• Be Happy With Yourself

One, you don’t need anyone else to validate yourself worth. Two, you only need YOU. Doesn’t mean you have to take your family and parents for granted, I mean the “relationship” part. C’mon! You don’t need a partner to start your fucking bucket list. Life is beautiful — and believe it once it came from a person who have wanted to end it before.

• Read

Okay, this sounds more like a cliche. But reading a lot of things — novels, news articles, journal, blogs, and anything — will ignite that inner passion. It will motivate you and give you a brand new hope that you can be whoever you want to be. Reading is the primary culprit why I wanted, again, to be somewhere else and breathe new adventures. But then again, I can’t. Still.

• Watch 

Okay, you’re some lazy ass I get it. Not everyone is fond of reading. Damn it, just watch baby! And by watch I mean, watch things of value. Something that would help you become a better version of yourself. Google, have you heard it? Find a list of movies that will kick  your lazy ass to get up and see life. ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!

• Always Remember, It’s Not The End

 If you’re someone like me, committed to a lot of things and people, remember: Its. Not. The. End. Maybe, you’re dreaming a lot of places to visit, things to explore, and you can always write it down. Believe that one day, you can still do it. You’re life doesn’t end just because you’ve tied the knot or you are a mom. Sure it’s easy to say when you have one or two kids and you have the means to travel and spend on things but if your budget and time it’s limited, it’s kind of challenging. And what did I say in the first place? Challenges help you become better and stronger, and not to mention — a lot of wiser. Think about how you can do it without compromising your relationship and your kid. You will only live once. Don’t be a prisoner.

Life is beautiful and it depends on how you see it. If you feel like you’re mentally-ill, seek medical assistance. It’s not you’re fault. And remember you’re not alone. 

Otherwise, push yourself to the limit — and baby believe me when I say that the limit does not exist — thanks Cady Heron. Doesn’t matter if you’re 20-ish or over. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO DO ANYTHING (of course, you cannot go bungee-jumping around if you can barely walk or breathe anymore). Go on and live life with no regrets. You’re not sure whether there’s still life after tomorrow. No one is.

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”