7 Secrets To A Long Lasting Relationship - My Personal Tips

WALANG FOREVER!

Or so I thought before I bumped into this man who made me look at commitment in a new perspective. After a series of failed relationships, I said to myself that love isn't real and relationships nowadays don't really last long compared to the previous generations. However, God is good and He has given me an answered prayer.

Four years ago, I met a man who I never thought I will fall in love with but eventually, fate knocked and here we are, having our own little family. Four years isn't long enough for some but the things we've been through were pretty challenging.

A Little History Of Our Own Fairy Tale

"What comes easy won't last"

I remembered someone saying this to us. Well, our beginning is not a fairy tale to admire. It's something unforbidden and no matter what we have with each other, it's not valid enough. Let's just say that we were both in a relationship when we've first met and unfortunately, we fell in love with each other. It's not an accident, IT IS A CHOICE. A choice that I will gladly repeat over and over again for him. I was confident though that what we have won't last. Aside from the inevitable guilt, I have doubts and what ifs. But we know that what we have is true, so we let fate do its job.

It's barely a year since we've become an official couple, however, even before we celebrated our first anniversary, I left to work abroad. Time, distance, and temptations tested our relationship. I know that I love him so much but I can also be fragile. I admit, there are a lot of fishes in the ocean and loneliness lingers around. However, love wins! After six months, he flew to Dubai and we were in each other's arms again. I thought it will be the start of something new to us. It's exciting to be in a new place with the one you love. It's something that I've been dreaming about. However, after a couple of months, I got pregnant and being in a Muslim country means risking yourself if you got pregnant out of wedlock. So I went back to PH and left him all alone.

One and half year away wasn't easy and I thank God for letting me meet a man that I can trust. Now, we are together again and this time, we have a new, solid proof of our love -- our little son.

So how did we manage to be together despite being in a dreaded LDR? Moreso, what are our secrets to a long-lasting relationship?

Secrets To A Long-Lasting Relationship

As I've mentioned, four years isn't that long, however, every relationship has its own struggle and we're lucky enough to overcome those. But how did we did it? How did we make those four years alive, meaningful, and passionate? Here are some tips to make a relationship work out for a long time:

1. Never Get Tired Of Communicating

I'm lucky to have a man who's very open with almost everything and I think it's also advantageous for him to have someone who's ready to communicate. And when I say "communicate", it's not just about talking; it's a two-way system where listening is more important than speaking. Listening means paying attention not only to the words but to nonverbal signals. Listening means giving enough attention and time. Listening to understand and not to reply. Meanwhile, speaking is not merely talking; it's relaying what's inside your heart. Therefore, if you speak, be open and honest. Think of your partner as someone who deserves to know the truth no matter how silly or painful it is.

Your partner is not a fortune teller and he/she won't be able to decipher what you have in mind unless you speak. Speak calmly and avoid shouting.

2. Trust Your Partner

It's hard to trust especially if you've been in very bad relationships. TRUST -- BIG WORD and it's so big that it is something that I don't give to anyone easily especially with men. So it's kind of surprising for me to give him the trust he needs. "He's done it before, what are the chances that he won't cheat again?" This question played a lot of times in my mind but it wasn't long until I was able to stop it. I know that whether I give him my trust or not, he will be able to do unfavorable things if he wants to. So what's the difference? Besides, you cannot go on and have a happy relationship if you cannot trust your partner.

Paranoia will kill a supposedly romantic and ideal commitment. If you are not ready to trust, then don't be in a relationship.

P.S. Don't break that TRUST that your partner has given you.

3. Let Your Partner Do His Own Thing And Have His Privacy

Whether you're still in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage or you've already exchanged vows, think of your partner as an individual. Yes, you can share some things with you but that doesn't mean that your partner cannot have his/her own privacy. Avoid asking for passwords, checking phones and social
media, and stalking your spouse. Let him/her go out with their friends without you or give them their "me-time." It's a win-win situation, trust me! He/she can enjoy her freedom while you can give yourself a time to become more creative.

Once in a while, it's healthy for the relationship if you two can be apart for a short time. Again, let trust work between the two of you.

4. Go To Sleep Angry

It's an unwritten rule for a couple to "never go to sleep angry." However, it doesn't work all the time. Some people are best left alone if they are agitated because talking and apologizing may only irritate them more. Instead, do not sin when you are angry. Do not do, let's say, STUPID THINGS when you are not in good terms, such as messaging other girls/boys, throwing tantrums (yes, babies are not the only ones who do such things), etc. Rather than making things better, these things only make it worse.

It's hard for some to go to bed without fixing things but then again, if the other one's still enraged, he/she may say things that he/she will regret. In the morning, when things are calmer, you can start communicating.

5. Do Not Forget The Magic Words -- I Love You

No matter how busy your day was or things were such a mess, do not forget to express your love. It
doesn't need to be extravagant, sometimes, the simplest things are the most beautiful ones. Saying "I love you" is simple but sincere and it's the best way to remind your loved one that he/she is special. Don't worry if it's repetitive, however, do not say it like it's an expression. Rather, say it if you want to sincerely say it.

I love you is a strong phrase that you should always remember no matter how long you've been together.

6. Have Sex Like It's Your First Time

C'mon, guys, it's 2017! Kidding aside, it's something that married couples must have. Not necessarily every day but once in awhile, bring out the fire inside you and make love. Take note: Make love and well, a little bit of lust. Having sex regularly keeps you connected; it draws you closer physically and emotionally. I understand, it's not easy and sometimes, it's tiresome especially if you've been working your ass all day. Although it's not a priority, it's something that you should not forget as a partner, especially as a married individual. After all, it's not only beneficial in strengthening the bond between you  and your significant other but scientifically speaking, it's good for your health, skin, hair, and the entire well-being.

No matter how busy your schedule is, make time to keep the fire alive and rock your partner like it's your first time.

7. Be Spontaneous

Surprising happens during special events, such as Valentine's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. However, you cannot limit yourself to these days alone. You can always surprise your loved one with something special and hey, it doesn't need to be expensive!

While you can go fancy, keeping it low-key is the KEY to a happy, long-lasting relationship. Eating Kanto Pares and kwek-kwek, visiting free Museums in Manila, or spending quality time watching a good movie -- these are just some of the things you can do with your partner.

Loving and being loved are some of the best things in life that we could have for free. And if you're lucky enough to finally meet your one true love, it's only right to do everything that will make it last.

Do you agree with what I've said? How about you? What's your favorite tip to a long-lasting relationship?